Join Matt as he fails spectacularly at a game requiring skill, dexterity and élan: Tea Party Simulator 2015! Will Matt please the demanding and scathing Ted? Or will he find himself at the receiving end of a disapproving glare and Hulk-like rage?
A girl doesn’t want much from life; just good grades, loyal friends AND THE UNWAVERING, UNDYING LOVE OF HER SENPAI. Luckily for those of use who aren’t a psychotic, lovestruck anime character a game exists to simulate the experience – and Matt’s putting it through its paces! Kind of. If he could just stop stabbing…
Whilst Richard is off doing important journalisty-type-things Matt is joined by the now-infamous indie developer Resulka to play Dead Island and drag the ongoing conversation from “puppets in abusive relationships” to “highly trained snakes”. Can her antipodal charm bring a touch of class to the proceedings? Or will it just be a mess of crude…
It wasn’t too much to ask, surely? All Matt wanted was to to become THE NIGHT; a stealthy thief and assassin, shrouded in mystery and cloaked in darkness. Unfortunately his own ineptitude – and a crab – got in his way. This is the result.
The conversation journeys from “the DC small-screen universe” to “a tragic waste of Keith David” as Matt and Rich prove themselves a tragic waste of combat training in Red Faction: Armageddon’s horde mode.
Richard gets creative with his cursing – as in literally “invoking an evil fate upon another” as opposed to harsh language – whilst Matt resorts to damning with faint praise as the duo tackle this week’s moving wallpaper – Francisco Téllez de Meneses’ platforming tabletop RPG simulator UnEpic – whilst dragging the ongoing conversation from…
The tangent continues! As Sonic All-Stars Racing Transformers provides the (fast) moving wallpaper Matt and Rich zip from “overcoming social anxiety” to “Game of Thrones nudity” by way of consumer electronic shows, Another World, poorly-aged platformers, self-spoilers and motivated villainy.
Matt has impressive tackle and a sturdy rod, but he always fails to impress with tiddlers. But enough about his personal life, because there are far more amusing ways to put his dignity on the line, like making him play the PC conversion of Sega Bass Fishing – an old Dreamcast game which required a motion sensor – using a standard controller. Hooray for Humble Bundles!
This week Matt and Rich journey from “considering canon” to “overcoming social anxiety” by way of – amongst other things, of course – RiffTrax, self-aware misogyny (discussing it, not perpetrating it!), failed celebrity encounters and Deadpool.
This week’s tangent starts Matt and Rich at “Whingeing man-children on the internet” – which prompts discussion of the recent drama over at Reddit – before slouching, like a chimpanzee riding on a series of segues, towards “considering canon” by way of Shovel Knight praise, overlooked games, the Austrian Oak and a debate on the preservation of gaming history.
Matt attempts to shake off the memories of Sonic ’06 and delves into the nostalgia-fest of its follow-up, the fan-service heavy Sonic Generations. What will our born-and-raised Nintendoid make of Sega’s tribute to its glory days? And what’s that sparkly blue light in the dist… SWEET MINBARI JESUS NO.
Matt and Rich return to the Realm of Tangents and get knee-deep in the dead! The original Doom provides the backdrop as the pair discuss (amongst other things) DLC nightmares, real-life Pip-Boys, the oeuvre of Mr. George Lucas, the unfortunate comedy of the Doom spin-off novels and why in retrospect Ghostbusters is a very dodgy movie indeed.
The revelations have been made, the stories have been uncovered, and now all steps are leading to the one place that Matt didn’t want to go – the attic above the Greenbriar house, and the truth that awaits there. (WARNING! This is part three of a complete playthrough: spoilers are ahead!)
Matt uncovers more revelations about the Greenbriar family as he continues to explore their creaking, dark, empty new home. What happened between Oscar Masan and his nephew? Where are Kaitlin’s parents? And where has her little sister Sam gone? Is the mansion really haunted? (WARNING! This is part two of a complete playthrough: spoilers are ahead!)
Matt explores a seemingly abandoned family mansion with darkened rooms and even darker secrets in Gone Home, an interactive story which uses a video game interface as its medium. Where is the Greenbriar family? Why is their new home empty, apparently ransacked? And just what is it that the protagonist’s little sister doesn’t want her to find? (WARNING! This is a complete playthrough: spoilers are ahead!)
Distinctly Wonky Kombat continues – much to the chagrin of their comments section – as Matt and Rich discuss the best and worst ideas for an 80s cartoon reboot, the sex lives of Muppets, unexpected video game sequels, even more unexpected video game animated series and the worst possible people to cast as The Doctor.
Matt and Richard take to the sands of the arena, using Mortal Kombat (2011 – not 2009 as Matt keeps saying!) as a backdrop whilst they discuss (amongst other things) The Witcher 3, female character models, Dragon Age and the (not so) recent debacle of AAA games being released in an unplayable state. Meanwhile, the duo kick-off a prank war of attrition which is bound to end in death. Or at the very least embarrassment.
Grab a bottle of Rolling Rock, slip on your white shirt and armour up with a pocket protector – Matt may not be famous enough to have any fan games based on his exploits, but as luck would have it there IS a game based on another YouTuber who gets ranty and sweary whilst he plays terrible games. Will Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures be a wry satire of the awful fodder that forms James Rolfe’s playlist? Or is it just as bad as the titles it lampoons?
Matt turns to his bloated Steam library – replete to bursting with games he can’t remember buying, and which he’s beginning to think are breeding – and finds indie BASE jumping simulator AaAaAA!!! – A Reckless Disregard for Gravity. It’s a good job that he’s trained Richard Cobbett on Viscera Cleanup Detail, because it’s going to need one hell of a janitor to clean up this mess. And what’s with the puppet?
Is it a podcast? Is it a Let’s Play? Why not both? Matt is joined by the inimitable Richard Cobbett for the first in a new series that shamelessly/lovingly (delete as applicable) rips off GeekPlanetOnline’s very own Tangential Deviation podcast! Two men, one co-op game and one conversation left to ramble for about an hour. What will they talk about? Where will the conversation end up? And who will end up battered to death with bits of dead Elf?
He’s failed at surgery. He’s failed at making toast. He’s failed at being a goat, a suicidal pig and a drunken security guard. But now Matt faces his greatest challenge yet – a challenge which will take all of his skill, wit and co-ordination. Mr. Ted craves tea and biccies, and there’s only one hapless hero who can provide them: welcome to the hell of Tea Party Simulator.
Aptly enough for Friday 13th, Matt didn’t have the best of luck with this week’s intended video. Yes, once again a recording went horribly wrong – but rather than scrap it entirely, here is the half of the episode which survived! Huzzah!
Matt’s had an interesting week full of technical fail – but when the going gets tough, the tough head on to Steam and find a game that costs £0.09! And so witness, dear viewer, as your cordial host gets to grips with a porcine death wish in the most frustrating level design since I Am Bread with Android puzzle conversion Squishy The Suicidal Pig. On the plus side, however… a new Corpsey!
One plank becomes two as Sir Hugh Fearnley-Whittingplank is joined in his survival endeavours by podcaster Peter Organ and a truly fearsome moustache! Will the duo bond over their predicament like Tom Hanks and a volleyball? Or will their innate powers of failure just prove too strong for them to overcome?
Sir Hugh Fearnley-Whittingplank must face off against bats, frogs and the primal terror of Cthulu in his continuing search for the gold that he needs in order to build a thinking machine and DO A SCIENCE!
Sir Hugh Fearnley-Whittingplank has been reborn into a new world, and Matt has spent his time in purgatory reading up on where he went wrong! Can he keep Hugh mk. II alive for longer than his predecessor?
Matt bows to public demand, risking both his nerves and his clean underpants, and delves once more into the world of horror gaming. The challenge makes Slenderman’s woods practically comforting; our hapless hero must journey into the terrifying containment cell of a creature known only as SCP-087-B, his only goal to get as far into the labyrinthine maze as possible. Can he pull it off in his usual stoic manner? Or will he receive complaints about shattered eardrums?
If you go down to the woods today you’re sure of a big surprise… because Matt’s left behind a pair of incredibly full underpants. Yes, like a masochistic court jester he’s decided to do something incredibly unpleasant to himself in the name of entertainment and play his first horror game – the infamous creepypasta-influenced “Slender: The Eight Pages”. Will he bravely face down the terrifying Slenderman and collect the eight journal pages that assure his freedom? Or will he dissolve into a blubbering, whimpering mess and shatter your eardrums with his surprisingly high-pitched screams? Probably the former, right?
Matt tumbles head-first into surreal cartoon wilderness survival game Don’t Starve. Can he possibly live to see the dawn of another day without supplies, without tools, without shelter and – perhaps more importantly – without a volleyball with which to create a suave and witty companion? Or is he destined to be eaten in the dark by a Grue? One thing’s for certain: as survivalists go he’s less Bear Grylls and more Burt Gummer (but without the guns).
Matt makes the mistake of buying a game based on its title alone, and ends up battling yet more of the undead – seriously, what is it with all the damned zombies lately? – alongside Biblical figures in Fist of Jesus. Warning: contains piss-poor impersonations of Bruce Lee.
When it comes to entertaining his subscribers, Matt would do almost anything. He’d would stand in the way of a bullet. He would run through a forest of flames. He would climb the highest of mountains. And he would play the point and click adventure game based on the greatest, most epic movie ever made*.
On YouTube, everybody can hear Matt scream… like a terrified child. Over and over again. It’s really high-pitched. Following the recording of the Left 4 Dead 2 video, Matt grew curious as to whether there were any other Aliens-based mods available on Steam Workshop. He found some. He applied them. He cranked up the difficulty. He filled his pants.
What’s the one thing better than a zombie game? A zombie game loaded with a ridiculous number of mods! Matt resumes his war against the legions of the undead with Left 4 Dead 2, and this time (thankfully) Clements’ diseased colon is nowhere in sight; instead, however, he has to rely on Deadpool’s shoddy aim, capture the Master Sword and endure the unmitigated terror of the Cookie Monster. Let’s just hope he doesn’t get slapped with a stupendous lawsuit…
The toaster’s plugged in, the kettle’s on and table has been set – it’s time to jam (and butter) with baked goods career simulator I Am Bread. Naturally Matt takes things in his usual calm, grown-up manner and completes the game in record time with absolutely no swearing or childish behaviour whatsoever.
How wrong can a 15MoP video go? Hideously wrong as it turns out, not that that will stop Matt from uploading it. So watch now, as he bandwagons with the rest of YouTube at the request of a friend and has a painful conversation with his Future Self – who, as it turns out, doesn’t respond well to Tommy Wiseau impressions.
Ever wonder what it would be like to play an MMORPG as a manifestation of Goat Purgatory? Nope, Matt neither, but today he finds out. Will he successfully explore the land of Goatopia? And who’s his quiet new friend?
15 Minutes of Pain: one game, one clueless gamer, no instruction manual and only fifteen minutes to figure out what’s going on! In this episode, Matt loads up his trusty station wagon and heads into the undead-infested American heartland in a bid to survive Organ Trail. SPOILER: He doesn’t.
15 Minutes of Pain: one game, one clueless gamer, no instruction manual and only fifteen minutes to figure out what’s going on! In the pilot episode, Matt attempts open heart surgery with a bare minimum of knowledge, a complete absence of training and patience and all the steadiness of a neck massager on a roller-coaster as he attempts to get to grips with Surgeon Simulator. What could possibly go wrong?